I wanted to teach you today about self therapy. It’s been on my heart and mind a lot lately. I’ve been thinking a lot about how important these techniques have been in my life because a couple years ago, if I would have dealt with what I have dealt with recently, I would have really crushed and struggled with all of the emotions being overwhelming. I tend to go into depression easily, so I just want to teach you some of the things that I do.
You might have heard me talk about it before but my shower diffuser, this little piece of clay that I hang in my shower, has been the number one thing that I look forward to and that allows me healing space.
I hang it in my shower so that I see it every time I get in. For me, it’s now become like an anchor or a trigger that I use. So I see this in my shower, I know it’s time to check in and see how I’m doing. So I’ve just created the habit where when I go to get in the shower, I just try to release all of the energy that I’m carrying. If I’m carrying stress around my kids or my husband or my dad, I try to just let it go and show up as myself as I get into the shower and just to carry my own energy and help myself heal.
It’s a very hard thing to do for most women who are responsible for children and have a spouse and a job and things that they’re responsible for. We don’t often show up in our own energy. So, I highly recommend you start thinking about how to do that. Think about your own needs and what’s important to you.
So, as I go into the shower, I have the shower diffuser hanging up, and I just take a bottle of essential oil and I add two drops onto the diffuser and I hold my heart and breathe that oil in deeply. I love eucalyptus in the shower, it just opens up your breathing in your airways and makes you want to take a deep breath.
As I take a deep breath I close my eyes and I ask myself “how am I doing? How am I feeling physically and emotionally? What hurts and what needs addressing?" And as I wash my hair, I’ll just carry that thought in my mind. Sometimes if that thought is really heavy and difficult to deal with then I know I need a little bit more therapy.
That is where I like to do EFT tapping. It’s called EFT, emotional freedom technique. It really is helping you become emotionally free. One of the reasons I like to do it in the shower is because I like to be vocal with it. Too often we don’t vocally express our feelings in a healing way unless we’re like yelling and screaming at our husband or kids or something. That’s the time people tend to be vocal with emotions. On their own in a healing way we don’t often vocalize that. So EFT tapping is a great way to do that.
If you haven’t heard of EFT tapping it is a way to connect the meridian points and help release energy. If you’ve ever heard of acupuncture, where they put needles in your face for the similar thing. It’s the same type of thing. It’s just something you can do on your own by using tapping points. Just tapping on that meridian point instead of putting a needle there.
This is so helpful. They’ve used this for PTSD a lot. There’s so much research and good information about why tapping is healing.
I like to start by tapping on the side of my hand with four of my fingers and kind of tap a little bit harder than you normally would tap on the other points. This can be a good tap. I just tap a couple of times and as I do this, I’ll think of where I’m at right now. The emotion that I want to deal with.
As an example, when my step mom died I was really angry. So, I would give that a number on a scale of one to ten. Let’s say I was feeling an eight. As I get into this tapping, I’ll think of that number and why it’s bothering me and say “I’m angry that my step mother died and that things were difficult and things didn’t get resolved... But I can love and accept myself anyway." So I would say things like that. Even though I was really frustrated that she had to die suddenly and we didn’t get to fix any problems, I can love and accept myself anyway.
It’s good to do both. That’s a great way to start. It doesn’t have to be just “I love and accept myself,” “I can be okay with this,” or “I can handle this,” or whatever words come. It can also be admitting “This is frustrating,” or “I’m angry.” That's the great thing about tapping versus other therapies: I don’t have to find the positive. I don’t have to be okay with it. I don’t have to say it’s okay. I can just say as I tap through this point “I am so angry. This is so hurtful and it’s so hard deal with”
So I do that, tapping three times with three different statements, on either right hand or left hand, it doesn’t matter which, then you move onto the next tapping point.
The next tapping point is tapping on the side of your eye. I like to do two different fingers. There’s not a specific way to do it, as you’re tapping through the points you express those feelings.
Then I move onto the side of the eye. As you do this you start saying all of these words, you’re just releasing emotions. You’re tying into how your body is feeling and allowing whatever comes up. It’s not something that you have to feel okay or be in control or handle it, on any level. It’s just fully allowing any feeling that comes up to be okay.
Then move underneath your eye, just on the bone, but right underneath your eyeball because that would be painful, but do it on the bone.
Then I kind of put my lip down and do it under my nose.
Then bring your lip up and go underneath your chin.
Then you do your collar point on your collar bone.
Then underneath your arms. For a woman it’s like where your bra strap would lie.
And the last one is tap on the top of your head.
So when I’m having big emotions I’ll tap in my shower and have these little conversations. It only takes two or three minutes. This is not something that should take very long. I like to do it in the shower because I can really release those emotions. Lots of times I’ll cry. Lots of times it’ll be hurtful and painful but as I go through these and do a couple rounds I start thinking positively. Like looking at all the good times I have with my step mother. Look at the good experiences that we share and we did have positive things. I’ll start moving into that positive energy. It’s okay that I felt hurt but now I’ll just remember the better memories and things like that.
Once I finish a couple rounds with that I’ll check in with my heart again by placing my hands on my heart, breathing those oils deeply and say “I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m loved.” Usually by this time, after I’ve done the tapping, I feel those emotions. I can feel love for myself. Then I check in on that scale of one to ten and if I was at an eight before lots of times I’ll be down to a three or a two.
To end, I like to turn the water colder, not so that it’s freezing cold but that it kind of makes me breathe a little bit differently. I will visualize all that stress and worry just washing down the drain, washing off my body. It’s very important to visualize this. You take all the things that came up and just release them, let them go. Then I breathe again and create an energy bubble. “I’m safe. I’ve done the work I needed to.” Then I turn off the shower and step out and know that I’m in a better place for myself.
This shower therapy is a big part of the routine that I do for self healing. I have paid therapists and done so many programs and done a lot of work and this is the thing that has helped me the most.
The shower diffuser is only $20 and I think of all thousands of dollars I’ve spent on therapists. This is a really great way, especially for busy moms, to really start taking care of yourself. To be aware, even if you’re not going through big things, I would still check in, still see if I’m okay, if there’s anything bothering me, if I’m just down on myself, if my thoughts are negative I will check in in the same way. By going through the tapping on those negative thoughts and finding where I’m holding that energy.
When I’m in a stressful situation, like my kids are fighting and I don’t have time to say “okay, hold on a minute, Mom needs to go make sure I’m okay,” I’ll just use a tapping point. Like I use my collarbone and you know tapping on your head between your eyebrows is so natural. So that is a point, especially if you’re really stressed, to do. My kids don’t really know I’m tapping.
Just knowing, and telling myself “okay this is a big emotion. It’s a big amount of energy. But you’re okay. You can do this.” It’s so helpful to have little things like that. You don’t have to do the full cycle, just connect with that meridian point, allowing the energy to start moving is healing.
I hope you try this shower therapy and that it works for you as well as it did for me. Let me know, if you’ve tried it, how it’s worked out for you! And don’t forget to take a look at our shower diffuser to use aromatherapy in your shower therapy.